Just a short break to keep you up-to-date on the goings-on here at Dartmouth Manor, home of Dark Puppy (and Pandora).
Meet the gang:
Trouble
Left to right, we have Lead Editor George Emerson and Associate Editors Ian deBear, the not-so-famous Antarctic Explorer, Reginald Sutcliff and his brother Stuart, of Li’l Blonde Puppy/Captain Buddha fame.
A quick rundown:
George Emerson, Lead Editor.
“Puppy” to his friends … and enemies. Has a checkered past: the San Jose Squirrel Mafia was rumored to have been cheated out of a lot of money by George a few years back. He claims they have a contract out on him, but George has been known to overestimate his significance in the scheme of things. He has new goals … he wants to make enough money off this blog to afford the Playboy channel (he is, after all, a Dog …).
Consensus opinion is it will all end badly …
… oh, and he wants a pair of pants (pronounced *pahnts* … says it with a kinda New England whine).
Ian deBear, Associate Editor.
A bear. A very intelligent bear … or so he keeps telling us. An acrobat, he ran away from the circus at an early age … moved to California … hung out by the trash cans … smoked a lot of dope, dropped a lot of acid … then moved in one day. (What? You gonna argue with a bear?) It’s all years behind him and everything is cool … except when he has bad days and we’re forced to resort to tranquilizers.
It’s all good, though. Loves salmon, something he reminds me of whenever he is forced to settle for tuna fish. He keeps threatening to raid the Koi pond in the back yard but that’s all it is, a threat.
He’s afraid of falling in, we think, and knows not how to swim.
Reginald “Reg” Sutcliff, Associate Editor.
In 2007, following in the footsteps of Scott and Shakleton … or, in his case, paw prints … sturdy young Reginald set off for Antarctica to explore the Ross Sea. In truth, he sneaked into a nice lady’s backpack and mooched off her the entire journey, stowing away on the ship and, upon discovery, only barely avoided being tossed overboard with the trash. Reg ended up working the remainder of the passage as bus boy during meals in addition to putting on the requisite stage show after, as well as during recreation and cocktails. (He’s a heck of a hoofer for a hound …also quite the crooner … does a killer Crosby.)
He wants to climb Mt. Everest next … he thinks he might be able to sneak into David Breashear’s backpack next time he goes up.
Oh, and the nice lady who facilitated Reg’s failed stowaway attempt?
She ended up peeling potatoes for the rest of the journey …
Update: We’ve received word Reg will be heading down to South Georgia later this year or early next. He is very excited about the visit: he says this would be a wonderful opportunity to visit Shackleton’s gravesite and dig up some bones.
We suggested this might not be a wise move.
His response?
“But … I’m a dog!”
This will likely not end well …
(Sir) Stuart “Stu” Sutcliff, alleged Peer of the Realm, Associate Editor.
Disclaimer: In truth, we believe Stu is an alien. That, or else he was abducted by them.
Seriously.
This explanation could go a long way to actually understanding that boy. 
To save time and trouble, we’ve attached Stu’s vital information from his Facebook fan page … yes, he has a fan page … as we inferred, he’s … um … complicated.
Personal Information:
SIR Stuart Sutcliff, Peer of the Realm, a.k.a. Captain Buddha, superhero. (Powers? He’s as strong, as fast, and as intelligent as a rock.)
Stuart, or “Stu” as his friends call him, currently shares a residence in San Francisco with two other hounds, a bear and a human or two … he’s never sure, and cares less so long as they provide him with meats and beer.
Oh, and he has a huge crush on a certain fem with the initials KMP…
Personal Interests:
Females. Young Stuart is, after all, a dog …
Stuart, as Captain Buddha, wants to be a member of the Justice League of America.
Seriously …
He has fantasies of paling around with the Martian Manhunter, hanging with the Batman and snuggling with the Amazon Princess (yeah, like that’s gonna happen). To this end he has commandeered the human’s car, christened it the Buddhamobile, and has it parked in the Buddha Cave, (which the human insists upon referring to as ‘the garage’, much to Stu’s consternation). Occasionally he rides shotgun in the Buddhamobile, looking for evildoers. So far, not a one (though the driver looks a little shady…).
He keeps hoping.
In the meantime Stuart hangs out with the human, drinks bear, sings to whatever is playing on the radio, even to talk shows (particularly political talk shows – his Limbaugh duets are to die for), and generally offers up plot and character ideas for the sci-fi book the human is writing. Dumb ape doesn’t seem to want to listen, though.
Oh well, the beer is free …
Anyway, these are the guys – and we use the term ‘guys’ in a loose, interspecies sort of way – who give a thumbs up or down to whatever post or essay I propose to put up.
Unfortunately, they have no opposable thumbs, so no one pays attention.
The inmates are running the asylum …
Dark Puppy 